Will you blow on my dice?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
