I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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