we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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