carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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