I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
