i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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