But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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