I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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