I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
