I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My bed smells like the plague
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
