I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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