I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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