I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
