he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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