Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Are my feet made of real feet?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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