Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
