Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
