just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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