Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have tasted many bathrooms
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
