Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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