yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
