I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
