I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize