Will you blow on my dice?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize