so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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