Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
