so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize