Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
