Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
