I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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