What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
