this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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