OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize