She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
