She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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