so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
