1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
