My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
