We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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