i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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