Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
