i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need to calm my uterus...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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