sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize