oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
