i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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