I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
