i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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