fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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