I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
