Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
wow bdsm is so cute
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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