Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
