KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
