I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
