As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
