yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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