so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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