Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
