what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
