AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
