I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
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