I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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