I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize